and the dreams we live.
If I think about it long enough, I start missing people I shouldn't miss. Then, when I'm all caught up in that, I start thinking I deserved more from the people I'm missing and that's why I miss them. When I get knee deep in that, I realize my thinking is wrong.
It's like when you were young and your parents used to tell you, "but if you dig a hole deep enough, you'll get to China." And you started digging. You started digging that hole thinking you were doing the most rational thing possible. Inch by inch, the rationality turned into obligation. You deserved to get to China after all that damn digging. Soon enough, you either reached China or realized you couldn't do it and went in for a glass of lemonade to sooth your muscles and your pride.
Regardless, you started thinking rationally again. You didn't deserve China. Hell, you didn't even want to GO to China! But the thought of digging yourself to a new place with new people to miss sure is nice.
See, it wasn't my nostalgia or the fact that I miss people I shouldn't; it's that I left when I found out it was as easy as digging a hole. I've always been good at building empty.
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